In my March e-newsletter, the question of the month was, basically, "What are you going to stop doing?" I have loved this theme for a long time (maybe Jim Collins was the first time I remember it being presented clearly?), but it came up twice at Great Ideas last week. First in the General Session by Matthew May on innovation, and again in my session on the Truth about Boards.

My session identified four ways that we all want our Boards to behave. We want them to:

• speak the truth
• stay focused
• be responsible, and 
• work in partnership with us.

In the session I talked a little bit about what it meant to have our boards do these things, but in terms of advice, I focused on what we as staff need to do to help that to happen. The only thing you control is your own behavior, so you need to figure out how you need to behave to help the board do more of those four things. But I also ended the session with a list of things we need to stop doing. Here they are in a little more detail.

Stop Complaining. We have to shake our habit of complaining endlessly with each other about our Boards and volunteers. Sure, they drive us crazy sometimes and there is a positive benefit to venting a little. But as my best friend likes to say (when I start complaining), "Is this a little vent or a big vent?" Because little vents are fine. You complain, get it out of your system, and feel better. But a big vent means you talk about it in much more detail. That is also fine, but only if you move past the venting and start on the problem solving. Venting endlessly is both unhealthy and annoying. It's like taking poison, and then waiting for the other person to die. We have to learn how to get in each other's faces and stop the complaining. If you're not solving problems, then keep quiet about it.

Stop Enabling. We actually support bad board behavior more than we'd like to admit. The way we declare it a "member-driven" organization often enables myopic behavior. The way we declare the board the "owners" can actually cause them to focus more on how association results reflect on them personally. It's not that we need to be in control, but too often we fade into the background or defer when we would be serving the system better by being strong.

Stop Being Afraid. When you get down to it, fear is basically the root of all organizational dysfunction. And personal dysfunction, for that matter. So here's my perhaps unpopular advice: stop being afraid to lose your job. Stop being afraid to lose a member. Stop being afraid to make people uncomfortable. Life is short, yet we let weeks, months, and years go by waiting for that time when we will speak the truth, or stand for excellence, or be powerful. Enough. You don't have to be reckless, but stop holding back.